Ally, this is a terrifically dynamic and vibrant piece, and I do think it evokes the sonic richness of the bagpipes and voices in the anthem. I can tell you brightened certain areas of the scribble, and I think that is very effective. I also like the addition of the smaller solid triangles -- to me, these do a lot to accentuate the explosive quality of the music. As you know, I love what you did with the background -- this part alone does so much to evoke music (I could see a separate piece done with just these elements in this same configuration). But the layering of the various elements certainly makes the sound more complex. My one suggestion would be to slightly enrich some of the scribbles on the right panel. I know you want a diminution here, but I think the change in the background alone does that. It's just that the active quality of the scribble gets a little washed out there, and I think it's important to the whole that we be able to see it. Beautiful piece overall, as all your classmates agreed.
Ally, this is a terrifically dynamic and vibrant piece, and I do think it evokes the sonic richness of the bagpipes and voices in the anthem. I can tell you brightened certain areas of the scribble, and I think that is very effective. I also like the addition of the smaller solid triangles -- to me, these do a lot to accentuate the explosive quality of the music. As you know, I love what you did with the background -- this part alone does so much to evoke music (I could see a separate piece done with just these elements in this same configuration). But the layering of the various elements certainly makes the sound more complex. My one suggestion would be to slightly enrich some of the scribbles on the right panel. I know you want a diminution here, but I think the change in the background alone does that. It's just that the active quality of the scribble gets a little washed out there, and I think it's important to the whole that we be able to see it. Beautiful piece overall, as all your classmates agreed.
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