Sisley, as was noted in class, your composition is very striking, and the whole drawing is dramatic and powerful. While I'm not sure you can do anything to make the figures appear more childlike, there are probably a few things you could do to make this piece even stronger. First, I would definitely make the text more legible. The color of the text is great, but maybe it should be lighter (or brighter). Also, the hands that meet in the lower center look a bit like alien hands. I understand you want things distorted, but these hands seem to give the drawing an element of the grotesque, which I'm not sure you want. One more thing you might fix is the foot in the lower right. It seems too small for the leg, and the perspective is slightly off. I think you should bring that foot down so that it rests on top of that edge, and then make it longer and change the toes a little bit. This is such an original and compelling drawing that I think it's worth working on it a little more.
Sisley, as was noted in class, your composition is very striking, and the whole drawing is dramatic and powerful. While I'm not sure you can do anything to make the figures appear more childlike, there are probably a few things you could do to make this piece even stronger. First, I would definitely make the text more legible. The color of the text is great, but maybe it should be lighter (or brighter). Also, the hands that meet in the lower center look a bit like alien hands. I understand you want things distorted, but these hands seem to give the drawing an element of the grotesque, which I'm not sure you want. One more thing you might fix is the foot in the lower right. It seems too small for the leg, and the perspective is slightly off. I think you should bring that foot down so that it rests on top of that edge, and then make it longer and change the toes a little bit. This is such an original and compelling drawing that I think it's worth working on it a little more.
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