Carson, this was quite an ambitious drawing, and I think overall it came out very strong. I like the way the text is used to define her features (without, for the most part, hard outlines around things), and the small scale makes it feel intimate and loving. That said, there's something about the yellow that feels unintegrated relative to the figure. Maybe you could go over the whole thing with a pale yellow wash? And I agree with Helen about the symmetry of the flowers; I think it would be better to introduce some asymmetry up there, and also to add some flowers on the sides (these can be seen partially, implying that the flowers continue forever. I could even see making the flowers so dense that they cover the entire background. As they are now, the two big flowers resemble animal ears, and I'm pretty sure that's not what you want. You may also want to try varying the scale of the text, but that seems less important to me than the other things I've mentioned. I hope you're happy with this piece -- I'm sure you mother would be very moved.
Carson, this was quite an ambitious drawing, and I think overall it came out very strong. I like the way the text is used to define her features (without, for the most part, hard outlines around things), and the small scale makes it feel intimate and loving. That said, there's something about the yellow that feels unintegrated relative to the figure. Maybe you could go over the whole thing with a pale yellow wash? And I agree with Helen about the symmetry of the flowers; I think it would be better to introduce some asymmetry up there, and also to add some flowers on the sides (these can be seen partially, implying that the flowers continue forever. I could even see making the flowers so dense that they cover the entire background. As they are now, the two big flowers resemble animal ears, and I'm pretty sure that's not what you want. You may also want to try varying the scale of the text, but that seems less important to me than the other things I've mentioned. I hope you're happy with this piece -- I'm sure you mother would be very moved.
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