Ally, I think this came out fantastically well. I love the scribbly nature of the drawing, and there are enough changes in the narrative that the viewer stays interested. One of my favorite parts is when the wolves change direction -- so well done. I think I disagree with the suggestion to introduce the rabbit sooner in the narrative. The way you have it now draws the viewer's interest because it's not immediately clear what's going on. I like the gradual revelation. And while I like that the rabbit is drawn differently from the wolves, it seems to smile at the very end, which seems odd. Also, maybe the words at the end can do something to the rabbit instead of just shoot out around it. What if the text were to penetrate its figure somehow, further underscoring the damaging effects of male aggression? The newspaper was a terrific idea, but I do wish it were more visible. Overall, wonderful job.
Ally, I think this came out fantastically well. I love the scribbly nature of the drawing, and there are enough changes in the narrative that the viewer stays interested. One of my favorite parts is when the wolves change direction -- so well done. I think I disagree with the suggestion to introduce the rabbit sooner in the narrative. The way you have it now draws the viewer's interest because it's not immediately clear what's going on. I like the gradual revelation. And while I like that the rabbit is drawn differently from the wolves, it seems to smile at the very end, which seems odd. Also, maybe the words at the end can do something to the rabbit instead of just shoot out around it. What if the text were to penetrate its figure somehow, further underscoring the damaging effects of male aggression? The newspaper was a terrific idea, but I do wish it were more visible. Overall, wonderful job.
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